Cross Cultures

One thing that has always made me laugh a little is the general assumption from most "white Americans" is that all Spanish speaking people are the same.

In my hometown area, anyone Hispanic, must be Mexican.  And of course here in the country illegally.

When I married a Puerto Rican, I wasn't sure how my redneck family would react.  I'm sure I put the fear of God into Papa the first time he met my dad.  I don't think he said more than 5 words, so my dad wouldn't hear his accent! To look at Papa, he is fair skinned and pale as me.  He has black hair and deep brown eyes compared to my blonde hair, blue eyes.  Most people didn't believe me that mi suegro is a red head!

When we got into fostering, we were hopeful for Hispanic children.  We had learned in training that there was us and one other foster home that could speak Spanish, yet a growing number of Spanish only speaking children entering care in our county. Over the course of our fostering years, we fostered 7 children.  6 of them were Mexican American, 5 of them we adopted, the other is the half brother of our older three children, who was reunified with their bio mom.

I must admit that my family was more accepting of my children than I thought they might be.  I did get asked once by an uncle if the kids spoke "foreign"....I'll just assume he meant Spanish.

In the course of our adoption, we faced some trials.  Literally.  You can read more about our journey on my family/misc blog.  We found ourselves in a contested adoption trial with our older 3 kids' bio father, who had been deported to Mexico.  It turned into a 2 1/2 year court 'battle', despite only actually going to court 5 full days.

One of the crimes against us is that we are not Mexican.  We could never give the children their 'real' culture.  We are and have always been open to sharing with the kids about their culture.  However, one problem the bio dad/lawyer had defining was exactly WHAT their culture was.

The kids were all born in the United States.  Smarty Pants went to Mexico one time when he was a week old, was there for less than two weeks. From what we've been able to learn, the kids had such a crazy upheaval life before they came to us, their 'culture' had nothing to do with their ethnicity, it was trying to survive a life of chaos and neglect.

The kids didn't eat a lot, if any Mexican food, they existed on cereal and sandwiches.  Their bio parents were Catholic, but in name only.  None of the kids were baptized, nor had they ever been taken to a Catholic Mass.  When asked about any particular family traditions, the kids knew of none, nor did their bio parents share any.  We even offered to take the kids to Mexico to visit their bio dad and his side of the family one a year or so, if he would sign over parental rights.  Bio dad was given MANY chances to do the services asked of him by Dept of Children Services, both here in the states and after his deportation.  He refused to do any of them.

In the end, the judge ruled in our favor.  Yes, there are cultural differences in children being raised in Mexico, or the States, or Puerto Rico.  We've never denied that, nor have we tried to erase that from them.  We have many friends from Mexico and as is expected, there is no 'one way' to do anything!

From the food to the celebrations, to even the words/accents used, there is a mixture. This is the same across the United States as it is in Mexico.  It is also true for all Spanish speaking countries.  Spain is as different from Colombia, as is different from Peru, as is different from Venezuela, etc.

So we are now in the process of bringing up our Mexican-American children in Puerto Rico, eating Puerto Rican food, observing Puerto Rican celebrations/holidays.  They will develop a Puerto Rican Spanish accent (once they are fluent in Spanish hehe).  We have tried to reach out to their bio parents to know what celebrations and holidays are important to them.  We've gotten nothing.

We talk about Mexico.  We have marked on the map the areas their bio dad lives, his family, the area that bio mom's family came from.  We talk about some of the foods, the history, the 'main stream' culture of Mexico.  Yet this does not define them.  Their adoptions are open, so it is possible for them to have a relationship with their bio family as they grow up.

These kids are definitely on their way to being well rounded, cross cultured kids.  They have Mexican, Mexican-American, Puerto Rican, and Mid-West USA 'gringa' influences. They do not define themselves as one particular ethnicity.  To them, they are just who they are.  They have pride in their mixed heritages.

Now if we can just get them speaking Spanish fluently!